#strandsoflifethatmakeyourrope2 additional thoughts

Quite often I write blogs as a way of finally determining my view on a matter. Writing requires focus and that focus helps in extracting a logical conclusion from deep in the mindset - ha ha !

Yesterday I wrote a blog about the strands of our lives that come together to form a "rope" and that rope is the rope that anchors us (hopefully in a positive way).

Thinking about the analogy further I have realised I missed out 2 important (vital) strands that are surely required in any good rope. 

The first is accrued memories and experiences ie things you can look back on, draw on - things that are positive and help you feel good or boosts your self esteem going forward. An important strand.

The second would be your future plans that might have a similar impact on your life/state of mind - self esteem etc - as the things you have all ready done / achieved as above. Maybe another way of putting it would be the feeling you are not in a rut.

I suppose what I am saying is if the strand relating to your past gives you a feeling that you have not done enough with your life etc it will definitively detract from the strength of your life's rope. I guess I am then saying you can strengthen this strand by starting to do the things you want to do.

As I have said above there is also the prospect of a positive strand that relates to your future intentions - your future plans - things you are working on - but this can easily turn to a negative - a weakness in your rope - if you fail for whatever reason to fulfill or achieve the things you aspired/planned to do.

My final thought at this time is I have been referring to weaving your anchor rope. I think it is highly desirable that this rope has the capacity to stretch. The stronger it is - the more capacity it has to stretch. And where do you want it to stretch to ? Well to the apex of Mazlow's pyramid of course - the feeling of fulfillment. The feeling of fulfillment - perhaps what a life is really about !

Enough from this amateur philosopher for now - ha! xx 

#strandsoflifethatmakeyourrope

Here is a bit of home spun philosophy.

Maybe reflecting on life - evaluating your life - is a bit of a luxury - you have to have the time - the energy - the capacity to do it. I guess if you are focused on survival or you have a major challenge, opportunities to take stock are curtailed. 

However I do think people do find the time to consider their happiness - their satisfaction - their prospects and of course today's world is obsessed with mental health stuff. Certainly as we get older - especially in retirement there is more time - time to reflect yes - but also more time to use - time to fill - possibilities/opportunities. This is great for some but seems to weigh heavy on others. It is this I thought I would write about.

I have come up with an analogy (I will try not to over work it !) We all need to weave (braid/make) a rope - an anchor rope for our life. The rope is made out of the strands that form our life. The concept of it being an anchor rope is important because I think all our lives need to be anchored to feel secure. (those that have read any of my blogs before know I am a big fan of Maslow and his pyramid/hierarchy of needs). (SUBSEQUENTLY ADDED NOTE FROM BLOG 2 - the anchor rope will ideally eventually stretch to the apex of Maslows Pyramid - to achieve fulfillment ) However for the purposes of this blog I am focused on the rope that attaches us to our anchor - not the anchor itself. We have to make that rope as I have said - and the stronger - the more developed that rope is I think the happier - the more fulfilled we will be. If the rope is flimsy and undeveloped the opposite is likely to be true.

How to make a good rope ? Well a rope is made from strands - strands laid together or interwoven. (at this point I wish to strongly emphasise I am not suggesting or advocating what strands should make up your rope - that is a highly personalised - a highly individual thing - and strands will break and others will replace it. My purpose is to emphasise the need for strands to form a well made rope.)

So strands ! One strand would be where you live, another family - relationships would be a big one, another your job - others your pastimes - each of your hobbies - each element of your social life - your fitness regime - your holidays - they each form strands. Some strands will be thicker - work for instance - some will be finer - your occasional hobby - but put together they form your rope. 

How good is your rope ?

An example - I know a couple in earlyish retirement. Both had had full on careers and I assume have good pensions. They have recently moved off the Island. The reason. They were bored. Apparently their days were go for a short walk - go somewhere nice for lunch - go home - watch the TV - bed and repeat. They had experienced all the Island can offer them  - now moved to Norfolk (to find some different gastro pubs). Back to the analogy - I would suggest they had not developed enough strands in their rope ! Hobbies - interests ?

Someone else I know - comfortably off - he is retired but wife still working as she enjoys what she does. He is bored to tears - actually not very happy. Time weighs heavy but at the same time he talks about life passing him by. He needs more developed strands.

The other end of the spectrum - I know someone with lots of strands - but maybe fine hairs (in my opinion) - not developed strands. One of those persons with "FOMO" - fear of missing out. Lots of "interests" - her approach to life is "new experiences". My observation is it is too transitory - often unsettling - unfulfilling - and put together those strands do not have enough substance to form a decent rope. There was a time when I felt my rope possibly had too many strands - always rushing around and not quite doing anything well enough. I have consciously made a decision to reduce some of the strands in my rope. I am reducing my travelling for instance.

Another type that comes to mind is someone whose rope is made up of only a few strands - maybe even just one - but a thick one - a dominant one - such as a big house or an expensive car. It might be enough - but usually a rope is stronger if it is multi stranded.

Anyway enough. You get the idea. Think about your anchor rope. What makes it up ? Is it strong enough for you ? Is it flexible enough for you ? Is it developed enough for you ? If not focus on doing something about your strands - find another hobby - put more into the ones you have etc etc ! 

PS it has just occurred to me the length of the rope maybe need to feature so it can reach from the anchor point to the apex of your pyramid - as Maslow - but that will have to be for another day !

All the best. xxx

 

 

#itsnotwhatyousaybutthewaythatyousayit

A very quick few lines.

Just back from my early morning bike ride. I have been riding from Seaview to Ryde and back along the sea front just about every morning for years. It is never busy - the opposite - but the path is shared by walkers, dog walkers, joggers and other cyclists of course.

Occasionally the width of the path is taken up and it is necessary to ding the bell so the people ahead move to one side. There is an art to this. I do a single ding about as far away as I can in order not to startle or sound impatient. I never have problems and people very often thank me for giving them some notice.

This morning I caught up behind an earnest older couple on touring bikes - helmets and full lycra. I am not sure how experienced they were - everything looked a bit shiny and new. The woman was harsh on her bell - several loud rings and in my opinion too close to the people in front. Instead of hi - I am just going to squeeze through her ring tone came across I think as belligerent - get out of the way - we are serious cyclists and you are impeding us. Of course people do not like that and there were grumbles. Care how you say it - care how you use that bell if you want to avoid aggro.

The other thing I have in mind is the great Ricky Gervais. I read an article this morning - Ricky has been given The Holywood Walk of Fame Award.  

Ricky Gervais made a controversial joke about sex abuse in show business after accepting a Hollywood Walk of Fame award.

The 63-year-old actor and comedian posed with his star at the Los Angeles landmark on Friday.

He then joked about how he was grateful to join an “exclusive club”, naming the pop star Michael Jackson, the comedian Bill Cosby and the silent film actor Roscoe “Fatty”Arbuckle. All three went on trial for alleged sex crimes.

Gervais said: “Thank you so much for this honour. It’s a genuine thrill to be part of such an exclusive club. And just looking around earlier at all the other stars, absolute icons, you know? Michael Jackson, Bill Cosby, Fatty Arbuckle.”

Maybe Ricky caused some people offence but the way he says is so funny and honest. He really made me laugh. What an amazing guy he is.