Cycling along the sea wall this morning in the wind and rain I started thinking about a couple of conversations I have had recently about getting older. Ageing and the issues surrounding it is something people can evidently struggle with. Here are some observations and my take which I shall grandly describe as my philosophy - ha!
The other day I heard an account of someone aged in his eighties who could not or would not accept that gradually the ageing process would take its toll on his body. Consequently he is constantly going to his doctor complaining of aches and pains and getting downbeat and depressed about it. He has been assured but will not accept there is nothing really wrong as such but is part of ageing. (natures natural process in action which is of course fundamentally irreversible and inevitable.)
The other recent conversation that came to mind was with someone of around about my age who saw me out jogging and suggested I must be mad - at your age! Broadly he sees 60 as past it - as a time (as a justification maybe) to (it seems to me) "throw in the towel". He more or less said - be sensible - accept you are "old" and live accordingly.
A quick digression (but some relevance I hope). A while back I visited the extensive and Grade 1 listed Highgate Cemetery in North London. It is a fascinating place and I wrote a blog about it. In a nutshell it was established in 1839 as a "business". There are acres of tombs and graves - many in elaborate gothic style and a mass of woodlands and paths. Our guide explained the Cemetery had become disused and badly overgrown until rescued by a trust in 1975. The trust policy is "managed decline" and this term stuck in my head. He explained the trustees had decided it was neither practical or probably desirable to try and bring Highgate back to pristine newness. They accepted stonework will inevitably deteriorate over time and ground would become uneven through subsidence and tree root activity. At the same time the trustees understood there were plenty of things they could do to manage the site better (particularly - maintain paths and clear dead trees and undergrowth) in order to prolong its life and allow people to enjoy it for what it is. I refer to Highgate because it encapsulates my philosophy on ageing - "managed decline" - ha! - a big smile.
My "managed decline". I will explain.
First of all and fundamentally I accept the ageing process (decline) is inevitable. As it is a natural phenomenon I think it is best to embrace it - to reconcile yourself too it - enjoy the opportunities it offers and not try and deny it. Losing ones youthful vitality is of course a loss but you cannot stem the tide and I think some people tie themselves in knots trying. Facelifts, hair transplants, the oldest swinger in town! (oldest swinger in town before swinger got its modern day connotation and just meant someone keen on parties and dancing - see Fred Wedlock You Tube) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZ3YrV-k4lw&list=RDNZ3YrV-k4lw&t=284
At the same time there is no need to give up because you have gone through some paper age threshold. I accept there are things it would be sensible not to try and do now (play contact sport for instance) but at the same time I can still be active and I don't have to be weighed down emotionally. I expect that gradually over time things will get slower - recovery will take longer - levels might diminish but as long as I still enjoy them and as long as they continue to give me a sense of achievement I shall keep doing them. You have to keep battling - surely! It is too easy to make excuses for not putting the effort in or having fun.
So my philosophy - I have to accept and embrace the natural process because I am a realist but at the same time I want to look forward to and enjoy the time I have because I am an optimist. To do so it makes sense to "manage" the inevitable decline (although maybe I need a word other than decline because it does sounds a bit gloomy and negative) - listen to my body - make the odd adjustment to my life style and expectations as deemed necessary and realistic but at the same time to keep doing the things I enjoy. There is no need or justification to give up and rush to the rocking chair. Ok my knees get stiff and ache sometimes - all my kids are faster runners than me now - I am in a lower squash league than I used to be in etc etc - but so what? - the pleasure and purpose comes from doing - from within - from pushing yourself - from putting the effort in. It is still worth it. It is still very much worth getting out there.
As a PS I understand there may be a time when I can't get out there. It is why the time to travel and do relatively energetic things is while you can. When the time comes when I can't then there will be a lot of memories to draw on in my rocking chair and I have countless interests I currently don't have time for that I will be able to pursue if my head continues to function - ha!
Another PS - I have been subsequently reminded - it is not "managed decline" but "managed decay" from the Trustees of Highgate. Decline - decay - we decline - we decay. I will try and efficiently manage both - ha!
The other day I heard an account of someone aged in his eighties who could not or would not accept that gradually the ageing process would take its toll on his body. Consequently he is constantly going to his doctor complaining of aches and pains and getting downbeat and depressed about it. He has been assured but will not accept there is nothing really wrong as such but is part of ageing. (natures natural process in action which is of course fundamentally irreversible and inevitable.)
The other recent conversation that came to mind was with someone of around about my age who saw me out jogging and suggested I must be mad - at your age! Broadly he sees 60 as past it - as a time (as a justification maybe) to (it seems to me) "throw in the towel". He more or less said - be sensible - accept you are "old" and live accordingly.
A quick digression (but some relevance I hope). A while back I visited the extensive and Grade 1 listed Highgate Cemetery in North London. It is a fascinating place and I wrote a blog about it. In a nutshell it was established in 1839 as a "business". There are acres of tombs and graves - many in elaborate gothic style and a mass of woodlands and paths. Our guide explained the Cemetery had become disused and badly overgrown until rescued by a trust in 1975. The trust policy is "managed decline" and this term stuck in my head. He explained the trustees had decided it was neither practical or probably desirable to try and bring Highgate back to pristine newness. They accepted stonework will inevitably deteriorate over time and ground would become uneven through subsidence and tree root activity. At the same time the trustees understood there were plenty of things they could do to manage the site better (particularly - maintain paths and clear dead trees and undergrowth) in order to prolong its life and allow people to enjoy it for what it is. I refer to Highgate because it encapsulates my philosophy on ageing - "managed decline" - ha! - a big smile.
My "managed decline". I will explain.
First of all and fundamentally I accept the ageing process (decline) is inevitable. As it is a natural phenomenon I think it is best to embrace it - to reconcile yourself too it - enjoy the opportunities it offers and not try and deny it. Losing ones youthful vitality is of course a loss but you cannot stem the tide and I think some people tie themselves in knots trying. Facelifts, hair transplants, the oldest swinger in town! (oldest swinger in town before swinger got its modern day connotation and just meant someone keen on parties and dancing - see Fred Wedlock You Tube) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZ3YrV-k4lw&list=RDNZ3YrV-k4lw&t=284
At the same time there is no need to give up because you have gone through some paper age threshold. I accept there are things it would be sensible not to try and do now (play contact sport for instance) but at the same time I can still be active and I don't have to be weighed down emotionally. I expect that gradually over time things will get slower - recovery will take longer - levels might diminish but as long as I still enjoy them and as long as they continue to give me a sense of achievement I shall keep doing them. You have to keep battling - surely! It is too easy to make excuses for not putting the effort in or having fun.
So my philosophy - I have to accept and embrace the natural process because I am a realist but at the same time I want to look forward to and enjoy the time I have because I am an optimist. To do so it makes sense to "manage" the inevitable decline (although maybe I need a word other than decline because it does sounds a bit gloomy and negative) - listen to my body - make the odd adjustment to my life style and expectations as deemed necessary and realistic but at the same time to keep doing the things I enjoy. There is no need or justification to give up and rush to the rocking chair. Ok my knees get stiff and ache sometimes - all my kids are faster runners than me now - I am in a lower squash league than I used to be in etc etc - but so what? - the pleasure and purpose comes from doing - from within - from pushing yourself - from putting the effort in. It is still worth it. It is still very much worth getting out there.
As a PS I understand there may be a time when I can't get out there. It is why the time to travel and do relatively energetic things is while you can. When the time comes when I can't then there will be a lot of memories to draw on in my rocking chair and I have countless interests I currently don't have time for that I will be able to pursue if my head continues to function - ha!
Another PS - I have been subsequently reminded - it is not "managed decline" but "managed decay" from the Trustees of Highgate. Decline - decay - we decline - we decay. I will try and efficiently manage both - ha!
