#bankruptbritain the Passenger family are heading for the rocks - an analogy.

An analogy - I will try and not make it too contrived.

The Passenger family - dad has a decent job - he earns well. Mrs Passenger and their teenage kids think dad is rolling in it (as dad likes to think he is too). Their extended family think the Passengers are rich. Their material wealth - the house - the cars - their holidays - the house parties. They have an active social life - rich friends - but they are generous to all comers too. They like to be liked - status and reputation is very important to them. They give lots to charities.

However the reality is the Passengers have been living beyond their means for years. Their outgoings have consistently exceeded Mr Passengers income. They have had to borrow. They have no savings. But at the same time they have been in denial - how can they be struggling given Mr Passengers fat salary ? Surely they are entitled to their life style on dad's superior earnings - (much more than the average family). 

But year on year overdrafts have been consolidated as loans, credit cards debt has been built up - from time to time they have remortgaged. All the family have cars - each funded on HP. Put together they have an enormous debt in relation to their income.

Gradually their credit rating has deteriorated. For years the Passenger's were seen as a good credit risk - but  their score is diminishing as a simple credit search reveals the level of their indebtedness - up against all their limits - every year their debt ratio increasing. Lenders are now worrying about the Passenger's.

Their financial adviser explains their position. Yes Mr Passenger you have a good income but look at how many people are taking a slice of the cake. You have two choices or ideally a combination of both. You have to reduce your outgoings and or increase the family income. (why aren't your wife and kids working?). You have to stop your debt increasing - interest payments on the borrowings are going through the roof and your lenders are getting worried. Some credit companies no longer want your business and those that do want a higher interest rate because lending to you is obviously becoming more risky. Pay day lenders might fast become your only option. You will default - if you carry on as you are. Your current lifestyle and position is unsustainable. 

The message should be clear to Mr Passenger - but he is a weak man. He is bullied by his wife - his kids are out of control. They do not take him seriously. They have a sense of entitlement. They are divorced from reality. They cannot make cutbacks. On the subject of work - Mrs Passenger and the kids have various health problems that prevent them from working. Mrs Passenger has ME she thinks. One of the kids has recently acquired an ADHD diagnosis. The other plans to retrain as a You Tube content creator because she wants to be a social influencer. She got bored volunteering at a refugee charity.

Not one of the Passengers are prepared to accept responsibility for the Passenger families dire position and do something about it. 

Bankruptcy looms. Enforced cut backs loom. Misery is coming. A huge dose of reality is coming. What misguided irresponsible fools. You have to earn it before you can spend it and it is not really about how much you earn but how many are living off those earnings and in what style.

 

#whatadviceiscorrect a troubled mind

This is a depressing blog to write - to think about. However I want to face it down. I worry about it because like most people it is potentially close to home and I care about the society we live in and the world we are leaving to our grandchildren.

I will start by putting it this way. Should I be shaping my view and advice based on "striving for a world as it should be - how we want it to be" or should my view and my advice be based "on see the world as it is" ? 

A simple explanation of what I am getting at. You have a right to wear a Rolex at anytime at anywhere. You have a right to to use a cash machine anywhere at night. Anyone that robs you is in the wrong. Why should you curtail your behavior because someone else is a criminal ? Why should we give in to criminals ? It is them that need to change their behavior. It is the law enforcers that need to do their job. It is society that needs to be better - it is not for us to live in our shells - potentially scared. 

This is right of course. This would be the brave thing to do. Don't give in to a shitty world and be complicit in allowing it.

However the problem with this position (very regrettably) is you increase your chances of being robbed - and every additional risk with that - the most concerning of which is of course physical harm. Put another way - you have the moral high ground - but you have been hurt or worse. Surely it would be more sensible - more expedient - to concede the world is not as it should be - as we want it to be - that it is in fact a jungle and you should take precautions ?

Now I am going to cut to the chase. I realize I am touching on very contentious ground. I know there is the potential to provoke frustration - even anger - because I am even raising a dilemma that shouldn't exist or at best - shouldn't need to be acknowledged.

Here goes. Women (girls) should be free to dress and behave in any way they want to without risk of harm from men. Of course they should - apart from anything else - it is a basic human right in a free society.

But - we all know there are predatory men out there. We know there are men out there that do not control their urges. We know there are men out there that believe certain types of dress/behavior makes a women fair game. We are reminded all too often in the news. It is sickening. 

What is to be done ? I have heard the debate - the anguish from women - the frustration - the argument - it is men's behavior that has to change - it is men that have to be educated - it is not a woman problem - it is a man problem - it is men in society that have to learn to respect women.

Of course this argument is right - 100% right. This is the world we want - a world where women can exercise their freedom without judgement or harm. This is what we should all be striving for.

What worries me sick - is we are a long way from the society we should be - in fact depressingly there is evidence we are regressing - that misogyny is increasing and further exacerbated by cultural differences that we are importing. This is the real world.

So what should women do ? Should they behave in accordance with the world as we want it to be - or is it wiser - necessary - essential - for them to be pragmatic - and acknowledge (but not accept) the world is a long way from what we want it to be and shape their lives accordingly.

I wish I felt I did not have to raise this dreadful subject.