This is a depressing blog to write - to think about. However I want to face it down. I worry about it because like most people it is potentially close to home and I care about the society we live in and the world we are leaving to our grandchildren.
I will start by putting it this way. Should I be shaping my view and advice based on "striving for a world as it should be - how we want it to be" or should my view and my advice be based "on see the world as it is" ?
A simple explanation of what I am getting at. You have a right to wear a Rolex at anytime at anywhere. You have a right to to use a cash machine anywhere at night. Anyone that robs you is in the wrong. Why should you curtail your behavior because someone else is a criminal ? Why should we give in to criminals ? It is them that need to change their behavior. It is the law enforcers that need to do their job. It is society that needs to be better - it is not for us to live in our shells - potentially scared.
This is right of course. This would be the brave thing to do. Don't give in to a shitty world and be complicit in allowing it.
However the problem with this position (very regrettably) is you increase your chances of being robbed - and every additional risk with that - the most concerning of which is of course physical harm. Put another way - you have the moral high ground - but you have been hurt or worse. Surely it would be more sensible - more expedient - to concede the world is not as it should be - as we want it to be - that it is in fact a jungle and you should take precautions ?
Now I am going to cut to the chase. I realize I am touching on very contentious ground. I know there is the potential to provoke frustration - even anger - because I am even raising a dilemma that shouldn't exist or at best - shouldn't need to be acknowledged.
Here goes. Women (girls) should be free to dress and behave in any way they want to without risk of harm from men. Of course they should - apart from anything else - it is a basic human right in a free society.
But - we all know there are predatory men out there. We know there are men out there that do not control their urges. We know there are men out there that believe certain types of dress/behavior makes a women fair game. We are reminded all too often in the news. It is sickening.
What is to be done ? I have heard the debate - the anguish from women - the frustration - the argument - it is men's behavior that has to change - it is men that have to be educated - it is not a woman problem - it is a man problem - it is men in society that have to learn to respect women.
Of course this argument is right - 100% right. This is the world we want - a world where women can exercise their freedom without judgement or harm. This is what we should all be striving for.
What worries me sick - is we are a long way from the society we should be - in fact depressingly there is evidence we are regressing - that misogyny is increasing and further exacerbated by cultural differences that we are importing. This is the real world.
So what should women do ? Should they behave in accordance with the world as we want it to be - or is it wiser - necessary - essential - for them to be pragmatic - and acknowledge (but not accept) the world is a long way from what we want it to be and shape their lives accordingly.
I wish I felt I did not have to raise this dreadful subject.
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